Willkommen zu dem, was in Worten gesagt werden kann, auf einer virtuellen Seite, diese langen Tage und ewig langen Nächte gehen, für immer unendlich die Schleife entfaltet.
Eva Winterschön

prose

Komplexität ist ein System, sagte der Architekt komplexer Systeme, über alle Epochen.

    Musings

    😴 Dreaming of Aliyah 😴

    Ongoing day-dreaming and pre-nap thoughts on the too-many relocation events from the past two decades… every time another move transpires I get a bit closer to just saying,

    “Fine, I get the message. it’s finally time for Aliyah (עֲלִיָּה).”

    Like many aspects of my internal life and its intrinsic amalgam of disparate identity qualifiers, I’ve only very recently shared anything publicly about being a Jew. Mostly due to that side of my reality being forcefully kept a secret by strict Catholic bullshit (no point in using nicer terms).

    Long story short, via genetic …

    Emotive

    ⚕️ Differently Abled? Scheiß Nein! ⚕️

    Going to say it very clearly: Disabled people are not “Differently Abled”.

    It’s not a special power, it’s not some magical happy-land fairy tale about inclusivity or whatever new language these people try to use to not feel bad about dealing with disabled people who have some manner of obvious suffering which separates them from the norm. There is no offset where I get a gold star on some other physical quality due to the negative black star from my physical disability. It’s just a negative, that’s it. There is no benefit to be perceived, and there …

    Musings

    Emotive

    Death, The Endeavor to Endure

    Dying as an event doesn’t concern me in the slightest. I already know what that’s like, and what it’s like to return from the void. It’s a welcome and inevitable stage of the forever loop within which I find myself all over again.

    I know what is involved with having my Self, the things that make me Me, disappear and have to be rebuilt, of waking up connected to those machines and having no memory. No concept of time. No sense of the Self. No concept of place, presence, preference, or purpose. There were no signals that my brain was going to return, not until my hands …

    Industry

    FreeBSD Articles 2025 Q1 [projektierung]

    These are the topics that I’ve been spending time with, on no specific schedule, with no intended intention, often for debugging or optimization, sometimes purely for curiosity, and often in-between other tasks throughout the day and night, so they might as well get some blog posts for discussion. All of the topics have already been written via configs, scripts, list-docs, and automation tooling, but no formal blog posts just yet.

    1. Ongoing sprints in “The EPYC Epic, Desktop Cooling Round III, Software Settings”
    2. An Enterprise Engineering Desktop w/ FreeBSD: hardware, software, …

    Musings

    Emotive

    💖 Siren Song of the UltraSparc 💖

    02:42, awoken to first-morning, 4hrs sleep
02:55, at home office standing desk
02:58, navigate to eBay once more
02:59, search Sparc M7 T7-2 chassis
03:08, begin writing silly poem
03:12, resume eBay search
03:16, distracted by dtrace for tcshrc
03:20, distracted by view of Lake Michigan
03:22, return to Mastodon post-form
03:28, distracted by tcsh config options
03:32, review work emails, updates too
03:44, move poem to 'nb' program
03:50, resume timeline planning for work
04:30, paste to micro-blog, click 'post'

nocturn lucid state of mind, nor-aware
to this living within, this living dream …

    Emotive

    💟 Den Perfeken Mann 💟

    Eight year old Eva used to awaken at all hours of the night, click on a flashlight, and grab whichever book had been maintaining substantial intrigue from the-then present day. It wasn’t that I couldn’t sleep, but that I did not want to sleep, an oft repeating theme into present.

    So perhaps it wasn’t insomnia, at least not at that age. Rather a focal-point sensation which permeated the dream state, spanning experiential worlds of ephemera.

    In those years no differences persisted more or less relevance to the mind than the other; substantive relevance was maintained insofar as …

    Musings

    Before Death, The Experiences Adventure

    Fulfilling one’s “Promises of Adventure” from 1999, one place I’d like to visit and to attend involves seeing an ‘Astral Projection’ dj set performed in the existential-perceptual-wilderness of the Negev desert, southern Israel.

    As a former long-term resident of the often bleak Nevada desert landscapes, it was a perpetual joy to explore the ancient remnants of the Great Inland Sea, the expansive sky-islands of the Great Basin Montane Forests, the ultra-hardened remote Salt Flats, as well as the more commonly experienced playa comprised of Alkali Flats in the …

    Industry

    A Minor Commentary on SED/Opal Encryption

    Data-At-Rest Encryption is a common topic, but one which is often misunderstood. Having led engineering and architectural efforts involved with hardware standards for encryption compliance, including detailed analysis of performance impacts while operating in accordance to service level agreements, here are some bits of discussion on the SED/Opal implementation.

    TL;DR

    • SED/Opal TCG spec’d drives are doing just fine. I trust it more than LUKS2 by a long shot.

    Detailed Read

    I have no issues trusting NAND and SAS firmware for the drive controllers that I’ve personally validated as …

    Musings

    Emotive

    💜 To Those Who Know 💜

    In recent weeks which have come to pass, unbeknownst and unexpected, currents of turmoil and change appear aligned to quarterly quells of extirpated expectations.

    Heart-felt apologies are due for the sustained impact to availability: last-minute flights that changed planned presence at the OpenZFS conference, schedule overlaps on my favorite CFT meetings, and reduced activity on chat/social network presences. Ideally, a successful outcome of the past two week’s “all or nothing” focus, and its associated changes will facilitate settling into a pattern which resolves …

    Peculiar Perceptions of Privacy for Public Personas

    Please pause this persistent predilection pertaining to periodically passionate patterns of pretentious perceptual processing.

    Sometimes thought processes get stuck, disconnected, trailing sinew and silken tissue in tragic agony, alone in the vastness, discarded, forgotten. Language has always felt to these sensibilities as a game; a tangled tale of otherwise tired terms and pithy patterns of phrase, of accents and admonitions, just another mode of expressions to become lost within, an entertainment of the mind otherwise disengaged.

    Silly games of phrase aside, what is this about personas? …

    Ageless Anthropomorphisms of the Eighties Era

    When I was much younger and learning about hardware engineering there was a fun game called, “Anthropomorphization and Personifications”. This was a name which I could barely say, but otherwise which most children would engage in while playing with toys or dolls, except I was playing it with the innards of a IBM 5150 while holding a screwdriver and attempting not o lose any screws.

    In this game ​the graphics board, the massive hard drive, floppies, serial and parallel devices, etc.. they had people names and people jobs and they operated the machine when the power was turned on. In …

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    Performance & Regressions -- How Orgs Ship Code to Production

    See that image? Right around the mid-section we see a common problem with the manner in which code is shipped to production. That one little section, displayed as a subsection of “build & packaging”, happily named “regression + performance testing”. Whether the product is a user-facing site, or middle-ware component, or baremetal systems which provide cloud resources that we all know and (sometimes) love… the success of the product is gated by an org’s ability to prioritize testing and automations for “Performance XOR Regression” (some orgs …

    Remission Requires More Than Medication

    Remission is an interesting term in its lexical use.

    • “diminution of force or effects”, c. 1600.
    • “abatement of penalty or punishment”, c. 1736

    In the context of those implications and meanings, yes absolutely that’s the impression from the past two months, a surprisingly rapid two months since a second front was opened during the “Hypophysis-Infundibular War”. Well, guess what? The tumour is in remission now.

    Why, or how? This is the result of a new medication regimen, a recent geographic relocation, and many iterative improvements within …

    Everyone Loves Ansible

    Test post. The variable value specifies the vicissitudes of vectorized validity of variablities.