PTSD is a neurological disorder which never goes away. It is defined in etched neural-pathways, imparted forever into the brain; its damage imparted as byproducts of experiences for which the mind had no real-time ability to process and resolve. It is the long-term effects, the damage done, from events often very-long passed.

Perhaps, if one could wipe the mind - a clean slate, a smoothened clay, then perhaps only positive new experiences would be etched into the processing and reactive frame-works, those equations of input/outputs between the internal and external worlds. Unfortunately, even a flat-line brain wipe does not provide such clarify of mind (unfortunately, this much I know).

So, hope not for a cure, there is none, but there may be reprieve, concurrence with others, and in finding ways to live with those experiences - the ones never possible to be forgotten.

Occasionally then, presently now, concurrently saddened and disquieted to observe and encounter so few worker-peoples in my life which have a functional grasp on the severity of life-long impacts from which Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder imparts. Surely. I know a few, and we commiserate, though not at the same places of work. To have no one in that place, the area of focus and paid determination to create, persists a grandeur of loneliness so nor-tangibly incapable of conception if not personally aware - and if you do, may I acknowledge that it’s more than just difficult and that you are not alone.

May there never exist a desire that any-one have the patient perspective of PTSD’s worst effects. Instead, as one so-afflicted, there exists a purely humanist desire to experience a substantive level of sympathy from those around.

Surely the primacy of such connection would reduce the harshest peaks and troughs of rapid pulse-width-modulated state-change, lessen the deathly pressure-charge of amperage-imparted direct-current flows rippling beneath this flesh, or to simply offer a paused reprieve which becomes so dearly/desperately necessary so/too often.

The external spectrum of trauma-etched expressions, from tranquility calm into starkly negative-kelvin cold, all the way to that impenetrable thousand-meter gaze; it is not instability, rather a nor-maximal sensory protection network crafted by a hardened Central Nervous System operating at heightened alert. Reactions in moderation instead of explosiveness, preventative care through cognitive awareness and adaptive response.. those are possible, and they may reduce the edge.

Hypervigilance is one or another level of DEFCON, with its 24/7/365 requirements so very tiring even with a continual and absolute best of care… however that may be personally defined.

#insomnia #dreamsPleaseNoMore #PTSD #hypervigilance #dysphoricHyperarousal #thousandYardStare #electricalEngineeringInNeurology #foreverBoundByLawsOfThermoDynamics